Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
