found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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