Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
