please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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