the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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