is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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