It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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