She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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