i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
