You really coming over, don't trick.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
