That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Btw I puked in your glovebox
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
