just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
