no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize