All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize