Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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