oh god the rape fog is back!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Randomize