Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
