You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
