if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
