puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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