No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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