The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
