I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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