We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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