Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
