I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
