I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
