I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
