We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
