She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
