Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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