Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's just like the Real World with babies
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
