North Korea, Best Korea!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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