yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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