oh god the rape fog is back!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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