Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
