Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
