I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
