capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
