I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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