I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you win again, gameday.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
