Small penises have feelings too.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
