I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize