he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
