I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
