I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
