just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
