Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
