Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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