I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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