do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
