I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize