i need an iv and a liver transplant
I queefed so loud it echoed.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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