There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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