well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
