We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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