put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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