she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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