All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
