We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
