I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
