Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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