If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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