She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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