I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
