Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm jealous of your bromance
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
